Carrying It Quietly

I never would have thought this would happen. It all started…. Shoot!! I don’t really know where it all started. I have always kept myself in shape, for the most part. But, between the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012, I started falling into an emotional and mental dark whole, which was taking a toll on me in every way.

I remember sitting at the table with my best friends and Jarett had asked me if I have ever heard of the Tough Mudder. UMMMMM No! What the heck is that? We YouTube the videos and instantly knew I was going to sign up. And I did. It was February and the Tough Mudder in December. Sitting at just over 220 pounds, I had to really start setting some goals.

Now I am going to fast-forward just a tad. I dropped most of the bad weight and 1 Tough Mudder turned into 2. Got hooked on the instant challenge of the body and participated in a Duathlon. Except, it was a relay for me and took part of the Mountain Bike course. That was tough!!

I picked up road cycling to find other ways to get cardio in since I started to have a serious case of Plantar Fasciitis. Really started to enjoy this new road cycling thing and the way it felt to be out on the road. So of course I had to find some kind of race. The only thing I could find was a Sprint Triathlon in Montgomery AL. Now, I can’t remember the last time I actually swam any distance. SWIM BIKE RUN, Yea, a whole new thing for me and no clue really what the heck I was doing. All I knew is how to ride a bike and run. Swimming! Yea Ummmm No! But I was up for the challenge. I was instantly hooked on the sport.

Now I am in Germany and trying to figure out how to continue with this triathlon thing. Conversations in our office and researching brought us to one conclusion. IRONMAN!! Now how? Now with a deployment coming up soon. It was all talk and all research. Deep down
inside though, I really wanted to do an Ironman. Ironman 70.3 Switzerland was the one for me. So now it’s January 2015 and back from my deployment from Afghanistan. I have 6 months to learn how to swim, bike, run for an Ironman 70.3 miles. With the language barrier, YouTube and my GoPro were going to be my training aids. On June 5^th 2015 I got my chance to do the Ironman 70.3 Switzerland and had the time of my life. I learned so much about myself. I’m just not sure what it is. But it felt great.

Well I am back in the states, Columbus Georgia, and hopefully this time for good. Back to training but one problem….UGH!!!! I am still recovering from tendonitis. I am still hitting the gym, swimming and doing more cycling. I just can’t run and it sucks!! Guess I’ll take another week off. This will be 3 weeks. So tough to stay off my feet. I already signed up for my 1st Ironman 70.3 for 2016 and need to get myself to back on my feet. It’s taking entirely tooooooo long. Well, after nursing injuries and off and on training, I tell myself, “It’s time to just accept it and give it all you got Juan. It’s time to head to Puerto Rico, where your family is waiting for you and your son finally gets to see you race”. AND WOW, Its been a long time waiting. Long time training. To have some of the most important people in my life there to support me made this event a better experience than I could have ever imagined. It was by far the toughest race I have ever done. Not just because the obvious 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike ride and the 13.1 run, but the elements were even more challenging than the course itself. I did swim faster YAAAAYYY! Than I planned and definitely rode faster even a bigger YAAAYYYY!!! But the run did kick my ass. I did come out still with 7 minutes faster than my last Ironman 70.3. I am happy about that. My learning experience even more. I have more training to do, more to learn. I still have more races on my road to be a true Ironman.

Now, I don’t really want to make this too long winded. I have participated in many other races. Even another local Half Ironman 70.3. I have been in and out of the doctor’s office with injuries. I completed the Ironman 70.3 Timberman in New Hampshire and the Ironman 70.3 Augusta. Both leaving me with amazing memories, unforgettable experiences and more lessons learned. LIFE!!! GEEEEZZZ!!! LIFE!! It doesn’t make time for you. You have to make time for it. Even then, Life has its priority and you just can’t put it on hold. Work, family, the unfortunate passing of a loved one, injuries and family vacations. It all becomes part of the equation

The Dark Whole I mentioned at the beginning. I’ll revisit that now. I lost my sister, went through an ugly divorce, almost lost my career, all within a 3 month period. Dreams and nightmares of my times deployed amplified. Remembering or not being able to remember, dates, times, locations, and names, in relation to my deployments, anything for that matter. So I slowly worked my way into the sport of Triathlons, I started finding a place where I belong. I place no one can be but me. So on my road to Ironman and the reasons I Tri started to become even more relevant.

November 5^th was the day I was to become an Ironman. The drive down to Panama City Beach Florida, where the Ironman took place, was the longest 4-hour drive. Now I chose PCB, Florida because it also fell on the same month, only 1 week prior to my 20^th anniversary of Army Service and thought; what a way to celebrate!! My nerves never really did calm down. Checked in on Thursday, practice swim on Friday and some Ironman retail therapy hoping to calm the nerves…UMMMM Nope!! Best friends arrive Friday morning and I show them around. As I showed them around, I checked my bike in and my race bags with all my prepared nutrition and gear for the transitions ride and run. Since I  was celebrating my service I also wanted it to be honorable and looked for ways to motivate myself when I felt weak. Ironman had a bib number in honor of CW2 Jarett Yoder. Liza, wrote on my arms and legs every deployment I had been on. My cousin and his family arrive late Friday with my son. My lil inspiration is here so I finally can breathe easier. But sleep, um yea, not sure there was any.

RACE MORNING: Woke up or more like I got up at 4AM and had my coffee, protein shake, bagel with PB&J. As we all walked to the swim start, me sipping on my nutrition, they announce it’s wetsuit legal. THANK GOD!!! I did not want to get stung by jellyfish and wanted every advantage I could have since I never swam in the ocean.

SWIM: MANNNN was it crowded, punching, kicking and the waves. Waves were not as calm as forecasted. Coming around the 2^nd turn back towards the shore, I saw the jellyfish. JUAN!!! Swim faster, don’t let them sting you!! Problem with that is, I had to face them again on the 2^nd lap around, and same turn back in. Sure enough there they were. JUAN!!! Swim faster!! This is about the time I started humming with every stroke. Finally made it back to the beach and into transition.

BIKE: I had a plan and I was going to stick to it. Start off easy and keep a certain pace. Regardless of how many cyclists passed me, I was going to ride my ride. BUT!!! Here goes, at about mile 24, guess the salt water and nutrition didn’t mix well. Glad no one was passing me. POOF!!! There goes the vomit out the left side. What a relief though! That came out of nowhere and felt so much better. Time to ride. BUT SHIIIT!!! Felt like the wind came from all directions and strong. From my view, looked like some of the riders were at a slight angle in order to not get blown away and stay straight. HAAAAH!! So was I. I knew my nutrition plan was working when I kept telling myself to slow down. Juan, you still have to run when you’re done. It was uplifting to see some of our local triathletes on the course cheering us on. The support from our community is amazing and grateful to be a part of it. Finally the ride is over and on to transition.

RUN: I come out and start on the run…. My Brothah Pito, me unaware of my time, lets me know how fast my over all time was so far and I was in shock at how fast my time was. BUT!!! I was not going to focus on that, though it did give me a boost of motivation at knowing what my end time was going to be. Like my ride, I was going to run my run and stick to my plan. I DID!!! At my 13^th mile, my amazing support team was there waiting cheering me on so full of excitement. MY name was written on the road in chalk. HOW AWESOME!!!! About mile 18 I started to feel this sharp pain in my foot that kept me from holding my pace and walking more. OH GOD THE PAIN!!! Not much longer to the finish line. You’re almost done. Even if it meant I had to walk more run less I was going to cross the finish line. Almost at mile 26, there’s my team and my son with my American flag. Handing it to me, giving me a kiss and trying to run along side me.

IRONMAN!!!!! You are an amazing organization. So many hopes and dreams are brought back to life because of you. You have brought inner peace to so many. You truly make the impossible possible. The more I get asked why, I ask myself why. I get asked; Juan, why do you do triathlons? My answer is usually a vague one. I never really know how to specify why other than how it makes me feel as a person. NOW! This isn’t my answer but I found it and it describes it almost perfectly. I Tri because racing and training has helped me find a place within myself only I can be. No one can be in this place but me.

1. SWIMMING: Gives me a calmness and a true love for the activity
2. BIKING: Shows me the beauty this world has by seeing it close and personal.
3. RUNNING: Has given me an understanding of how dedication and hard work pays off.
4. To add a 4^th.

THE SPORT: Because after 20 Years, 2 conflicts, 2 wars, 5 deployments, I don’t need doctors or meds.

So, as I crossed the finish line and heard JUAN WITH THE AMERICAN FLAG!!! YOU ARE AN IRONMAN JUAN!!! I will no longer carry that burden and live my life the way it should be. Like an IRONMAN, where EVERYTHING is POSSIBLE!! THANK YOU!!!